Van Smog Problems- Help!

HAAALLLLLPPP!  As per usual when life throws me a tricky situation, I turn to the Internet for help.  Here I am with the latest and greatest trial and tribulation of van ownership.  I thought buying a new van would free me from mysterious problems, but alas my luck follows me from van to van.  I will try to summarize this in the briefest and clearest way possible and if you have any experience in this department, I would love to hear your advice.

In January, I bought a semi-used 2014 Ram Promaster 3500 Cargo van from Reno Dodge.  It was being used as their parts vehicle and they sold it to me for a great price, removed the decals, and sent me home with a brand new looking van with 17,000 miles on it.  Everything was going well until I tried to smog it so I could complete my California registration.  It failed smog due to the presence of three incomplete monitors.  What does that mean?  When you reset a check engine light or disconnect your battery, the computers in your car have a whole bunch of tests they will run through to make sure everything is ok with all sorts of different components of your vehicle.  These tests take varying amounts of time, mileages, or types of drive cycles to complete.  One of the issues with these tests, is that no one really seems to know how to complete them.  For example, some of the monitors may complete after 250 miles.  Some after x amount of drive cycles, and some after specific types of driving- highway, city, stop and go, idling for a certain amount of time at certain engine temperature.

After I failed smog the first time, we determined that I needed to drive more because the check engine light had been reset right before I bought the vehicle after a part had been replaced.  So I drove more, failed, drove more, failed, drove more, and failed again.  At this point I had driven 5,000 miles and was beginning to think that driving more was not the solution.  I tried to get the van in to the dealer before we left for our ski trip, but they said they couldn't fit me in.  We went on the trip, adding another 2-3,000 miles to the van.  Midway through the trip we stopped at Dodge in Salt Lake for an oil change.  I asked them to see if we still had incomplete codes and they told me my PCM (some time of computer) needed to be replaced.  A solution to the mystery!  I was satisfied knowing this was under warranty and that when we got back from our ski trip we would breeze into the dealer, get our new computer, pass smog, and get our license plates.

A breeze it was not.  Because I needed to be mobile during the week after we got back, scheduling was very difficult.  I talked to a total of 8 different Dodge dealerships and either they didn't work on Promasters (um, what.) or they couldn't get me in until a week or two out.  Finally, I put my foot down and told Reno Dodge I was coming in first thing Monday.  Doing this meant sacrificing being in the Bay Area to pick up Brian when he returned from Taiwan after a two week trip, but it seemed like the only time I could squeeze this in to our timeline, and it needed to get done.

At the dealer, it was determined that the PCM was not the issue.  Chrysler HQ tech support was contacted and a case was started.  After leaving the van there for two days, I picked it up and was told that it was a known issue, but there wasn't currently a fix for it.  Apparently something was tried that might work, but there wouldn't be a way to know for sure until I had driven it a bit.  I drove to Truckee, but arrived just after 5 so I couldn't try getting it smogged.

I drove down to the Bay to pick up Brian and we decided to increase our odds of success by trying to smog the car during a long drive cycle, as was suggested by Carson Dodge earlier in the troubleshooting process (they told me to drive from Truckee to Sacramento and back to Truckee without stopping and then smog the van without turning it off, but I had better things to do).  We drove 210 miles straight to San Luis Obispo and into a smog shop.  We didn't turn off the van.  We plugged in the scanner.  And we had FIVE incomplete monitors.  FIVE!  So not only did taking the van in not help at all, it actually increased our number of incomplete monitors.  In theory, two of them will probably test out eventually as they apparently did before, but I'm guessing that at least three are there to stay.  Here's where you come in and answer my fun multiple choice question!

What do I do?

a) I've been told by someone at the smog shop and someone at CA DMV to take the van back and tell them to give you a new one.  

While this sounds like a good option in theory it is problematic right now because 1. This problem is not isolated to just my van, but has been showing up in several Ram engines and in other Promasters and could occur in a new van as well and 2. Today is April 13 and I need to be in Alaska with a completely built out van by May 1, so disassembling the work I've done thus far, driving back to Reno, getting a new van, starting over from scratch, building it, and driving to Alaska in 17 days?  Not going to happen.

b) Try to register the van in another state with different smog requirements.

Brian has a Washington address, we technically still have a Nevada address, and we have friends in Wyoming, which requires no test at all, we will also be in Alaska this summer, which also doesn't require a test.  If we do attempt to register the van in another state, it is possible that we will have to forfeit the money we have already paid to the CA DMV.  In addition, we will have to cancel our current insurance policy and start a new one.

c) Continue getting extensions on our temporary operating permit in CA until...

CA gave us 60 days to pass smog.  This expires on the 25th.  If we haven't passed by then they will give us an extension.  How many extensions you can have I don't know.  Regardless, we will be in Alaska until September, so we risk getting a ticket/fine/thrown in jail/who knows for having an expired temporary operating permit if we get pulled over up there.

d) Get some kind of exemption or temporary relief from having to pass smog

If anyone knows if this exists, please tell me ASAP!  I know when I was out of state for about a year, I got to delay my CA smog check on my last van.  If there is anyway to at least get our license plates without passing smog, that would be a great solution, even if we have to try again and go through this all again next year.

e) Fill in the blank.  Thoughts?  Ideas?

Basically, it would be great to have license plates and it would be great to know that we will be able to cross the border into Canada and then back into Alaska without problems.  Whether or not we will have problems with our current plate-less vehicle, I don't know.  Well, so much for brevity.  If you're still with me and have any thoughts or experience in this field, let me know!