Ode to a Pit Toilet

If pooping, talking about pooping, or toilets make you feel uncomfortable, you probably shouldn't read this post.

Pit toilet, I love you so!
When I see your brown facade and your chimney in the distance, I thank my lucky stars
I hike faster, bike stronger, send my project quickly, so I can run to your thick brown door
If I'm lucky, the lock works
and there are many rolls of toilet paper, their tails flapping in the wind as I whoosh the door open
If not, no matter, I brought my own roll
Yes, pooping in the woods can be nice, very lovely indeed
But after many days, my quads tire of squatting, and my shovel begins to dull
a seat would be so nice
For some reason, not everyone understands the signs:
"Please close the lid to reduce odor" "Close the lid to prevent flies" "Be sweet and close the seat"
But I will never let you down, I will not let the odor escape or the flies congregate!
In every pit toilet across America, someone has eaten a bad meal before visiting
I cannot understand how this occurs so frequently, but hopefully someone comes to clean you soon
Every once in a while, you provide me with a hand sanitizer dispenser as I walk out the door
and sometimes there is even hand sanitizer in it!
You shelter me during storms, offering your sturdy walls against the wind and the rain
Thanks for your support.  You rule.